You have to wonder at some point if those young kids are taking part in some global stupidity contest or if they are just making fun of us?
Friday, February 27, 2009
Obviously this is the next logical step in the effort of the company to save money (or make money) during their flights, but i can’t resist thinking what is next
1 GBP to be greeted by a stewardess while boarding
2 GBP to be shown the safety procedure routine
10 GBP to have an actual pilot fly the plane rather than a trainee
20 GBP to unlock the door so that you can leave the plane upon arrival
50 GBP to give you back your luggage
Those of you who answered Bayerische Motoren Werke, wrong, and you actually may be in for a nasty surprise if you own one without owning a private parking space.
We learn today that B.M.W. stands for Bewegung für Militante Widerstand (Movement for Militant Resistance in German), and apparently they have identified a creative way for achieving sole ownership of the brand name.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Today we learn that according to American Express spokeperson M. Faust, the company is offfering to some of its customers $300 to leave!!
On the positive side for AIG shareholders (that would be Obama), ManU is on its way to win a record 11th Premier League title...
OK. So first this guy, who by all standards is one of the best junior analysts out there, turns around and says he was working on his excel late one night, and was a bit tired and mistyped a formula or something and the whole thing is just wrong, it doesn’t work.
“I found a flaw in my model a "mistake", i am shocked. I ‘ve been an excel monkey all my life, i’ve built hundreds of models. That was just a stupid mistake, a case of * instead of /”
and then he comes back and says its not really just the excel formula but really some basic modelling assumptions that were wrong as well.
“My boss told me not to change those assumptions so i didn’t play with them. I think now that we are gonna have to go back to the drawing board. Phuh, that’s a lot of work. I am going to have to work even on weekends to fix this.”
Monday, February 23, 2009
Sunday, February 22, 2009
The courts, in the case of Madoff, ruled that client redemptions going back 6 years were considered criminal proceedings and should be returned. This logic is so sweetly ironic and at the same time so ridiculously impractical that you just have to admire its scale.
It's like saying, sorry buddy but you remember the house you bought, the tuition you paid for your kids college, well you 've got to give it back. But i am just an investor!! Well, sorry again but the money (plus capital!!! WTF!) should be returned. End of story.
If the above holds true then surely there is a case for getting back the salaries of abnormally paid employees of the ponzi companies or you know what, even just normally paid employees. And why stop there, ask to return all things they purchased while employed at Stanford.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Listen guys i‘ve been telling you all along that this thing is getting out of hand and you need to let me step in and take control. Here’s a possible dialogue.
You guys need help.
No we don’t we are ok.
No you are not
Yes we are
Daaaad tell him something he is trying to devalue the zloty
No i am not dad, he is lying
Thursday, February 19, 2009
UBS has lost 66% of its value in the past 12 months, but I think this pales in comparison to losing its core banking values.
Which country is Lehman Brothers *? Who will land on the get-out-of-jail card? Who’s turn is it to roll the dice?
These and other question seem to be increasingly in the minds of the big players in the old continent, who are already thinking about the quadzillions needed to save the world. But, first of all, we need to think of the entities that pose a systemic problem before we let them fail.
“I would be very reluctant to say: ‘O.K., let Ireland or Greece default, the market will sort it out, punish them for their irresponsibility of the past,’” said Thomas Mayer, co-head of global economics at Deutsche Bank AG in London. “They tried it with Lehman and realized that was not a good idea.”
Since we have learned a lesson or two from our past six months experience, I am just gonna sit and wait for the rhetoric to shift to the “good country – bad country” idea which seems to be the current solution for our headaches. I say gather up the bad citizens and ship them all of together to Russia or somewhere. I am also waiting for a wave of M&A activity across EU countries in the next few months. Go Greespanytalia!!!
* If you answered Iceland, please email firstname.lastname@example.org. The winner gets 1 trillion of Icelandic government bonds.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Monday, February 16, 2009
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
As in the past, politicians today are providing solutions for our problems. A point demonstrated in this discussion today. You can see that these guys are really thinking about true solutions for the problems we are facing, rather than just trying to score some political points. Take this example:
“These new requirements, which will be available on a new Web site, FinancialStability.gov, will give the American people the transparency they deserve.”
I find it strangely comforting that if you've lost your home and/or your job, you can always pop down to the local non-as-of-yet-closed starbucks, to get that transparency hit you so richly deserve.
Monday, February 9, 2009
These are tough times for many people, obviously more so for the average middle class banker CEO who is asked to live on a mere 500K. An amount that everyone in the game knows that up until recently was classified under “other expenses”.
“People inherently understand that if they are going to get ahead in whatever corporate culture they are involved in, they need to take on the appurtenances of what defines that culture,”
Dare i suggest that what defines that corporate culture may also have to undergo some changes?
Friday, February 6, 2009
Who knew that it could be as easy as 1-2-3.
You guys better be reading this cause today we’ve got numbers coming out and they are expected to be mmm…not so good, so we need about half a million of you out there to get in the game.
UPDATE: OK so maybe we need juuuust a bit more of you after all
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Where do i start with this? What does someone have to do to be considered worthy applicant for a job in an island in the middle of fucking nowhere? Isn’t it enough that he has to compete with 11.000 applicants for the same job, i mean the odds are bad enough already…
The popularisation of the financial crisis is going full steam ahead, and now Hollywood has taken over and is developing a script for the Madoff movie (based on a true story?). Details are just starting to emerge and our blog has managed to get a copy of a critical scene from the script.
Is it too much to ask to cast our new fav hot actress in some small but integral part? Maybe the role of Catherine Hooper, girlfriend of Andy The Fish Madoff, and secret Ponzi Meister.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Coming from someone who is an insightful person, its a little disconcerting to realise that people still think that when the world is falling apart, they can pick and choose which things stay the same.
In the words of the new shaman of the western world Dr.Roubini… "i don't know what some people are smoking"
Cable company admitted yesterday that after years of planning and secret meetings they managed to one-up the famous Janet Jackson incident. A spokesperson for the company said “we feel that we raised the bar on such incidents and that no one can match us right now, but hey, if they wanna try they can just go ahead”
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
I say it's a good thing they are still calling them "Bonus schemes". If the term were to change (more accurately perhaps) to "Ponzi schemes" they could actually go back up to six years, and that's when a lot of people would get really nervous.