Blows My Socks Off...

-
In case you are wondering (along with the rest of the world) whether we have already reached the bottom and whether the recovery will be sustained, here is a strong arguement why we haven't and it won't...
-

Birds are doing it, bees are doing it…

…even educated financial City types are doing, i mean even Berlusconi is doing it, come on. So what’s the problem in this picture people…why are we in shock about this?

Maybe because we don’t yet have evidence about all the other activities, in this planet, private or public, in which men are involved, in which surely lap dancing (plus) is somehow participating as well.

Theobarising

Go read this. Fascinating. Now pour yourself a drink. Now read this as well. That's it, almost there.

Pushing the envelope

So two new independent articles today, on the newfound critical role that the Simpsons are playing in our society.

First they teach us how to eat healthy food

Second they reach new highs in adult entertainment (while trying to save print media)

So the question really is, if the Simpsons do affect our daily lives, and in such an significant extent, and they do have a huge positive impact, do they deserve a Nobel prize ?

PS Statler i know what you are thinking that this jab deserves a post of its own…i am working on it.

IAAP

-
Unnerved by a 30% reduction in the value of its endowment, Harvard is planning to recover the losses by no longer serving cookies at faculty meetings.

When I first heard about the Lehman umbrellas and stressballs, I laughed. Then came the Maddoff baseball season tickets and I thought it could be a coincidence. But now I am fairly certain that something larger is at play. Could we be looking at the first steps of the introduction of the Idiotically Accepted Accounting Principles?
-

Culture Club

So the French culture minister is asked to resign over accusations of paying for boys while on vacation in Thailand (sex tourism). Which he doesn’t deny. Plus he seems to oppose the extradition of Polanski to the US. And of course Sarcozy defends him all the way. Isn’t this a beautiful story.

Maybe post mortem, just like Michael Jackson, we will remember him for his achievements as an exemplary minister of culture, rather than something else.

Keeping you customers at arm’s length

Here’s one straight from the funny pages. Or not. Bank of America, reaches new high's in customer service when insisting to an armless customer that they need a thumbprint to cash a check. They should have sent him to Guantanamo or something, since he is obviously a security threat in this unidentifiable state…

I want....ONE MILLION DOLLARSSSSSS!!!!!

So someone sued Bank of America for the sum of 1 with 21 zeros afterwards. That's a sextillion in case you didn't know.  The funny thing, as the article points out, is that if he wins he can't collect since the amount is bigger than the gross global domestic product. Ha ha ha, maybe it's an indirect attempt at world domination....

Achieving Closure

Now this bit of news is going around, possibly as some form a psychological boost to the victims of the great ponzinator, cause unless the premium over the asking price is to the tune of 64,991 billion they sure as hell are not getting a cheque in the mail….

Walk like an Egyptian

After the Islamic banking, Islamic Ponzi was obviously to follow… After all the Middle East has the longest tradition in Pyramids…

Party Girl

Our special acknowledgements to this Bank for the stories they provide us! This is the answer to those who believe there isn’t a conflict of interest if the decision on the foreclosure of property is judged by whether it makes for a hip party venue!

In our new story, this Lady most likely wanted to prove that she could throw better parties than Silvio, but il Cavaliere is still our No. 1. However, the Party seems to have ended with a huge hangover…

Pity Bono wasn’t there; he would have played this for free:

# I know a girl
A girl called Party, Party Girl
I know she wants more than a party, Party Girl
And she won't tell me her name
Oh no, not me #

What about Michelle?

In a quick shift of focus from global prime minister playboys to global first ladys, our thorough media analysis has brought to light the first instance of a first lady that claims to have been abducted by aliens!!! Obviously such claims would have been dismissed outright if this had been the first lady of a small tax haven in the middle of the pacific,  but noooooooo, this is the first lady of a G7 country.

Ladies and gentlemen we give you Miyuki Hatoyama the wife of the new Japanese Prime Minister and Venus visitor.